it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
