About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you inspire me to be a worse person
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
