Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
