it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
