Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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