Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
