so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How does one acquire holy water?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
