My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
