How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
