rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
