so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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