Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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