Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dignity is for republicans.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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