I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
