C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
