Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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