I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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