I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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