just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Randomize
