Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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