is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
