i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I need moral support for this bender
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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