I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
