i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
