i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
