just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
