I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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