Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
