I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
His hands were made for my vagina.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
