I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
