I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
