is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
