how can u be prego again
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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