This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
