The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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