i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
