That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
