Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
