I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
