porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
