We're facebook friends in real life
the day after is always just damage control
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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