I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
