I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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