Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
