Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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