bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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