I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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