Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
