I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I need water and some morals
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
