the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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