And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
