Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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