every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's never too late to be topless.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
